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Sam Witwicky:"911 emergency! My cars been stolen! I'm in pursuit! I need all units, the whole squadron, bring everyone! No, no don't ask any questions, my father’s the head of the neighborhood watch!"

Maggie Madsen:"What did they get you for?"
Sam Witwicky:"I bought a car, turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?"

Operator:"Sir, the attitude is not going to speed things up any bit at all."

Optimus Prime:"Autobots! Relieve them of their weapons."

Optimus Prime:"Autobots! Roll out!"

Optimus Prime:"My name is Optimus Prime. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."
Ratchett:"But you can call us 'Autobots' for short."

Mrs Witwicky:"You better get those guys out of my garden or I am going to beat the crap out of them!"

Sam Witwicky:"You're putting girl jewelry on a boy dog? He's got enough self-esteem issues as a chihuahua mom."
Mrs Witwicky:"That's his bling."

Bobby Bolivia:"Gentlemen, Bobby Bolivia. Like the country except without the runs."

Agent Simmons:"You, in the training bra, do not test me."

Optimus Prime:"Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man."

Mikaela Banes:"Hey, how about you let me drive?"
Trent:"Oh no no no. This is not a toy. These 22's, I don't want you grinding them. No. Why doesn't my little bunny just hop in the back seat."
Mikaela Banes:"Oh god, I can't even tell you how much I'm not your little bunny."
Trent:"Ok, you'll call me."

Sam Witwicky:"My name is Sam Witwicky. Whoever finds this, my car is alive! These are my last words, I just want to say Mom, Dad, I love you. And if you find Busty Beauties under my bed, it wasn't mine, I'm holding it for Miles. No wait, that's not true. It's mine, and Uncle Charles gave it to me. I'm sorry. Mojo, I love you."

Mrs Witwicky:"Wow, you are so cheap."

Agent:"Code Red! We have a breach!"

Captain Lennox:"I need a credit card! Epps, where's your wallet?"
Sergeant Epps:"Pocket!"
Captain Lennox:"Which pocket?"
Sergeant Epps:"My back pocket!"
Captain Lennox:"You got ten back pockets!"
Sergeant Epps:"Left Cheek! Left Cheek! Left Cheek!"

Glen Whitmann:"She did it! She did it! She's the one you want! Alright?! I was just sitting at home watching cartoons, playing video games with my cousin and she came in there!"
Maggie Madsen:"Glen you freak!"
Glen Whitmann:"Hey I am not going to jail for you or anybody else! I have done nothing bad my entire life! Hey man, I'm still a virgin. Ok so what, I downloaded a couple thousand songs off the internet! Who hasn't?! Who hasn't?!"
Maggie Madsen:"Glen, shut up!"
Glen Whitmann:"No you shut up! Don't talk to me! Don't talk to me criminal!"

Mr Witwicky:"How much?"
Bobby Bolivia:"Well, considering the semi-classic nature of the vehicle, with the slick wheels and the custom paint job..."
Sam Witwicky:"Yeah but the paints faded."
Bobby Bolivia:"Yeah but its custom."
Sam Witwicky:"It's custom faded?"
Bobby Bolivia:"Well this is your first car. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

Megatron:"Humans don't deserve to live."
Optimus Prime:"They deserve to choose for themselves!"
Megatron:"Then you will die with them!"

Reporter:"Can you shed any light on the so called 'Alien' activity?"
Mrs Witwicky:"Uh, you know what? I think that if there was some sort of an alien infestation..."
Mr Witwicky:"The government would the first to let you know."
Mrs Witwicky:"Yeah the government would let us know."
Mr Witwicky:"This is America."
Mrs Witwicky:"Yeah. That's how we know we live in a free land. Because there is no secrets. They would say 'Hey, duck and cover!'"

Sam Witwicky:"Yeah, no I'm cool with uh, you know, females working on my engine. I prefer it actually."

Soldier:"What the heck was that?"
"Soldier answers in Spanish"
Soldier:"English dude, English."

Mikaela Banes:"Wow, nice headers. You have a high rise, double pump carburetor. That's pretty impressive Sam."
Sam Witwicky:"Double pump?"
Mikaela Banes:"It squirts the fuel in so you can go faster."
Sam Witwicky:"Oh. I like to go faster."

Agent Simmons:"You want to lay the fate of the world on the kid's Camaro? That's cool."

Optimus Prime:"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

Student:"You guys, I think the other team figured it out. Iran."
Student:"Come on man, this is way too smart for Iranian scientists. Think about it."

Mikaela Banes:"What is it?"
Sam Witwicky:"It's a robot, but like a different, super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese. Yeah, it's definitely Japanese."

Bobby Bolivia:"Manny?!"
Manny:"What?"
Bobby Bolivia:"What is this? This car, check it out!"
Manny:"I don't know boss, I've never seen it! That's loco!"
Bobby Bolivia:"Don't go Ricky Ricardo on me Manny! Find out!"

Ironhide:"You have a rodent infestation. Shall I terminate?"
Sam Witwicky:"No! No! He's not a rodent, he's a chihuahua! This is my chihuahua! We love chihuahuas, don't we!"
Ironhide:"He's leaked lubricants all over my foot!"

Ratchett:"The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female."

Optimus Prime:"Megatron!"
Megatron:"Prime!"

Captain Witwicky:"No sacrifice, no victory!"

Detective:"You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent?"

Optimus Prime:"It's you and me, Megatron."
Megatron:"No, it's just me Prime!"

Optimus Prime:"My weapons specialist, Ironhide."
Ironhide:"You feeling lucky, punk?"
Optimus Prime:"Easy, Ironhide."
Ironhide:"Just kidding. I just wanted to show him my cannons."

Sergeant Epps:"Spooky 32, use 105 shells. Bring the rain!"

Mikaela Banes:"What are you doing?"
Sam Witwicky:"I don't think it wants to hurt us, or it would've done it already."
Mikaela Banes:"Really? Well do you speak robot? Because they just had like a giant droid death match!"

Bobby Bolivia:"Get your cousin out of that damn clown suit. He's having a heat stroke again. Scaring white folk."
Clown:"I'm hot! Makeups melting! Hurts my eyes!"

Mikaela Banes:"Are you new to school this year? This your first year?"
Sam Witwicky:"Oh no no. We've been in the same school since first grade."
Mikaela Banes:"Really?"
Sam Witwicky:"Yeah, long time."
Mikaela Banes:"Well do we have any classes together?"
Sam Witwicky:"Uh yeah, History, Language Arts, Math, Science."

Mikaela Banes:"You think I'm shallow, huh?"
Sam Witwicky:"Shallow? No no no. I think there is a lot more than meets the eye with you."

Mikaela Banes:"I'll drive, you shoot!"

Maggie Madsen:"Are you running a diagnostic?"
Student:"Should I be?"
Maggie Madsen:"Yes you should."
Student:"So I am."

The Decepticons hacking signal

Optimus Prime:"At the end of this day, one shall stand, one shall fall."

Mikaela Banes:"You are the strangest boy I have ever met."

The sound of a transformer transforming

Student:"Guys, thats the Secretary of Defense."
Student:"I am so under-dressed."

Megatron:"Oh so unwise."

Optimus Prime:"With the All Spark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. And fate has yielded its reward, a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here, we are waiting."

Jazz:"You want a piece of me?! You want a piece?!"
Megatron:"No! I want two!"

Captain Lennox:"This thing is wicked!"

Glen Whitmann:"This is my private area. My place of Zen and peace."
Grandma Whitmann:"Glen! Who is it?!"
Glen Whitmann:"Shut up Grandma!"