Hale Caesar:"Great, they got a small army. What have we got? Four and a half men."
Barney Ross:"Look at these clowns. Hand-picked monkeys."
Lee Christmas:"Are you crazy?! You could have killed me!"
Barney Ross:"You're welcome!"
Trench:"Why don't we have dinner?"
Barney Ross:"Sure, when?"
Trench:"In a thousand years."
Barney Ross:"Too soon."
Toll Road:"It ain't easy being green."
Barney Ross:"Bullets go faster than blades."
Barney Ross:"Last chance. Take it or leave it."
Lee Christmas:"You know, it's not easy being your friend."
Hale Caesar:"You know what? I trust you. I want you to meet my girlfriend, Omya Kaboom."
Toll Road:"You lost me there."
Hale Caesar:"When Omya's prime is struck, she give off a miniature warhead that arms itself. And when that happens, anything that gets in my lady's way becomes instant red sauce and jello. And if that doesn't work, her sister will."
Toll Road:"You should meet my doctor."
Hale Caesar:"Too late."
Barney Ross:"What the hell is he doing?"
Lee Christmas:"Hanging a pirate."
Barney Ross:"Don't be ridiculous. Gunner, what are you doing?"
Gunner Jensen:"Hanging a pirate."
Gunner Jensen:"What do you wear, size 3? Bring it happy feet!"
Mr. Church:"Let's quit jerking off, get down to business, see who's hungry."
Tool:"I'm feeling a little lucky tonight. I'm feeling very accurate."
Lee Christmas:"What do you know, a greedy pirate."
Lee Christmas:"I once knew a man called Tool."
Barney Ross:"I love poetry."
Lee Christmas:"To me, was the epitome of cool. He was good with a knife, bad with a wife."
Barney Ross:"That hurts."
Lee Christmas:"And to think he could beat me, dreaming he'd defeat me. Cool Tool, you gotta be a fool."
Mr. Church:"What's his ****ing problem."
Barney Ross:"He wants to be president."
Gunner Jensen:"Need a face-lift pretty boy?"
Gunner Jensen:"If you don't want that Fu Manchu knocked back into the 60's you better keep your gum chewing trap shut and show some respect!"
Barney Ross:"Sound about right?."
Hale Caesar:"You know, the enemy's always been terrified of noise, especially shotguns. With this big boy spitting out 250 rounds a minutes, you tell me who's tolerating that. Absolutely zero."
Lee Christmas:"Someday you'll find a man who'll be happy just to watch you sleep."
Tool:"You remember that time we was up in Bosnia? We took down them Serb bad boys? All our guys were getting chopped up all around us and there was blood everywhere. I never though I was gonna make it out of there and I know you didn't and you didn't either. Kinda feeling like, dead too, ya know? My heads all very, very black place. Didn't believe in ****. Just god damn Dracula black. I remember I got this bottle of this local **** they have over there. That Silvits, I think that's what it was called. And I ain't feeling no pain now and I come up on this, uh I come up on this overland bridge, and I see this, I see this, I see this woman standing there, ya know? And she's, uh, I stepped out and she saw me, and she's just looking right, right in my eyes. And I was looking right in her eyes, and I knew what she was gonna do. She looked at me, and I knew she was gonna jump. You know what I did, man? I just turned around I kept walking until I heard that splash and she was gone. After, after taking all them lives, she was one that I could have saved, but I didn't, and uh. What I realized later on was, uh, if I'd have saved that woman, I might have, I might have saved what was left of my soul, ya know."
Lee Christmas:"What's the address."
Barney Ross:"Yeah, it's in my head."
Lee Christmas:"Well do you want to share it?"
Barney Ross:"It's Gloria Cantina."
Lee Christmas:"It's actually Cantina Gloria. It's Spanish."
Barney Ross:"Spanish? Who are you, Zorro?"
Mr. Church:"You guys aren't going to start sucking each other's dicks are you?"
Trench:"Hey, you been sick? You've lost weight."
Barney Ross:"Really? Well whatever weight I lost, you found pal."
Yin Yang:"I woulda win."
Barney Ross:"I know you woulda win."