Billy / Doctor Horrible:"I saw Penny today."
Moist:"You talk to her?"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"So close. Just a few weeks away from a real audible connection."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Hey, didn't you uh, didn't you go on a date last night? Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling with Bait and Switch."
Moist:"Yeah."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Yeah?"
Moist:"It was alright. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Bait but..."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"I hear you."
Captain Hammer:"It's curtains for you, Doctor Horrible. Lacy, gently, wafting curtains."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"I'm Doctor Horrible. I've got a PHD in horribleness."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Emails!"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"This is the one. Stops time. Freeze Ray. Tell your friends."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"I want to be an achiever, like Bad Horse."
Penny:"The thoroughbred of sin?"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"I meant Gandhi."
Captain Hammer:"I don't go to the gym. I'm just naturally like this."
Captain Hammer:"The hammer is my penis."
Captain Hammer:"You give my regards to Saint Peter, or whoever has his job, but in hell."
Penny:"Hey, I know you."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Hello. You know me? Cool. I mean, yeah you do. Do you?"
Captain Hammer:"I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like!"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"See you at the aftermath. Peace! But not literally..."
Penny:"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath then what's on the surface."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one."
Penny:"Huh?"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Like with pie."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"By the way, it's not about making money. It's about taking money. Destroying the status quo, because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Wow, sarcasm! That's original!"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"That's not a good sound."
Penny:"What are you doing?"
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Uh, texting. It's very important or I would stop."
Billy / Doctor Horrible:"Oh goodness, look at my wrist. I gotta go."