Burns and Allen sound clips

Burns and Allen (1950-1958)

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Bill Goodwin:"Well I had an accident, a terrible accident. This girl might be dying. I gotta get her to a hospital."
George:"This girl?"
Bill Goodwin:"Yeah. Oh it was terrible George. Wasn't it Miss Jones?"
Miss Jones:"Yeah."
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Gracie:"There was one poor little boy sitting all by himself, and he looked so sad. So I brought him around and made everybody shake hands with him."
George:"And that made him feel better?"
Gracie:"Well he almost forgot he had the measeles."
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Gracie:"I just said to my husband this morning, 'if they don't do something to cut down the high cost of living, we'll just have to get along without it'."
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Gracie:"And he said to me, 'Well Gracie, here's to your health. Let's drink, bottoms up'."
Gracie:"Well, isn't that kind of an awkward position?"
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Gracie:"Well George Burns! I'm so mad at you, I don't think I'll ever talk to you again!"
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George:"I'll tell ya something about plot, but don't tell this to Ed Sullivan or Eddie Cantor. It's cheaper then guest stars."
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Gracie:"But the minute I got into the doctor's office, I knew he was no good."
George:"You knew he was a bad doctor?"
Gracie:"Yeah, all his patients were sick."
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Tax Man:"Are you Mrs. Burns?"
Gracie:"Yes, Mr. Burns is much taller."
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Gracie:"Nobody is going to ride in the car!"
Gracie:"Because its dangerous."
Gracie:"Why sure! Everyday you read about some car hitting a pedestrian. We're gonna walk."