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Harry Block:"He's flying away! Is that a bad thing?"
Ira Kane:"Only if you're a human being!"

Harry Block:"Ira! Don't you ever tell anyone where I've been!"

Ira Kane:"Snag one."
Harry Block:"Snag one?"
Ira Kane:"Yeah, snag one and put him in the bucket."
Harry Block:"I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. You snag one."

Wayne Grey:"Here birdie birdie birdie birdieee! Birdie! Ca ca ca ca ca cacaw! Cacaw! Cacaw!"

Harry Block:"I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single celled organisms have?"

Ira Kane:"Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled 'Cells are Bad' and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: 'Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same old boring magazine everyday. The end'."

Governor Lewis:"Keeping my chair warm for me are ya?"

Ira Kane:"You're an official representative of the USGS?"
Harry Block:"Signed up over the internet."
Ira Kane:"What, were you on some cheerleader site and you accidentally got linked over to the USGS site?"
Harry Block:"Something like that."

Harry Block:"I'm picking up a heavy creepy vibe here."

Harry:"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a different profession? One where people's lives were not dependent on you?"

Allison Reed:"I don't get it. How does someone with your background, credentials, talent, end up like you?"

Ira Kane:"You should consider yourself lucky. The penalty for impersonating an officer is 5 years in prison."
Harry Block:"Yeah, maybe for you white boy. Me they hang."

Ira Kane:"Fighting the alien menace can be tough work."
Harry Block:"And so is keeping your hair clean, shiny, and dandruff free."
Wayne Grey:"So it's a good thing that we always keep a healthy supply of..."
All Three:"Head and Shoulders around the house!"

Ira Kane:"If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?"
Harry Block:"Lingerie."
Ira Kane:"Not you, the bird."
Harry Block:"Lingerie!"

Ira Kane:"Governor, Doctor Ira Kane, I'm the chairman of the science department at the Glen Canyon Community College. And this is my associate."
Harry Block:"Harry Block, Adjunct professor in Geology. Voted for you."
Wayne Grey:"Wayne Grey. Took some chemistry in high school"

Harry Block:"First of all, lets give it up to God. With Him all things are possible."

Harry Block:"Anyone have a can of raid?"

Harry Block:"Come on, admit it. You're glad to see us."

Ira Kane:"That's how they reproduce."
Harry Block:"No sex?"
Ira Kane:"No time for sex."
Nadine:"Bummer."

Ira Kane:"Take off your shirt I'll show you."
Deke and Danny Donald:"Yes!"
Allison Reed:"No I don't think so!"

Ira Kane:"Step back Harry, I'm gonna shoot him."
Harry Block:"No, stand down. I'm gonna kill this one myself."

Harry Block:"Now that's really peculiar."