You Can't Take It with You sound clips

You Can't Take It with You (1938)

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Tony Kirby:"You're so beautiful. Sometimes your so beautiful it just gags me. Maybe your not real, maybe your a phantom of some kind. I keep expecting you to vanish."
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Tax Man:"Now Mr Vanderhof, our records show that you've never paid an income tax."
Grandpa Vanderhof:"That's right."
Tax Man:"Why not?!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"I don't believe in it."
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Alice Sycamore:"Were you ever in a monastery?"
Tony Kirby:"No, but I'm the fella that got caught in a cave once."
Alice Sycamore:"Really? Whatever happened to you?"
Tony Kirby:"Well the cave caved in and I haven't been heard from since."
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Reporter:"Cinderella just told Prince Charming to go take a flying leap."
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Tax Man:"Look Mr Vanderhof, all I know is you haven't paid an income tax, and you've got to pay it."
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Uhh what was that?"
Tax Man:"I said you've got to pay it!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Well you've got to show me!"
Tax Man:"We don't have to show you, I just told you! Whose going to pay for all those buildings down in Washington, and interstate commerce and the Constitution!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"The Constitution's been paid for years ago, and as for interstate commerce... what is interstate commerce anyway?"
Tax Man:"There are 48 states see, and if it weren't for interstate commerce, nothing could go from one state to another, see."
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Well wehy not, have they got fences?"
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Tony Kirby:"I knew two people who did that once. They went out of the building, they were uncertain so they just walked and walked... and walked, and finally they just died of hunger. Now you wouldn't want anything like that to happen."
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Grandpa Vanderhof:"Your an idiot, Mr Kirby!"
Anthony P. Kirby:"What?!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"A stupid idiot!"
Anthony P. Kirby:"You can't talk to me like that!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Oh yes I can! Scum are we?! What makes you think your such a superior human being? Your money?! If you do, your a dull-witted fool Mr Kirby, and a poor one at that! Your poorer than any of these people that you call scum, because I'll guarantee at least they got some friends! But you with your jungle and your long claws, as you call them, you'll wind up your miserable existence without anything you can call friend. You may be a high mogul to yourself Mr Kirby, but to me your a failure! Failure as a man! Failure as a human being! Even a failure as a father. When your time comes I doubt if a single tear will be shed over you. The world will probably cry 'good riddance'! That's a nice prospect, Mr Kirby, I hope you'll enjoy it. I hope you'll get some comfort out of all this coin you've been sweating over then!"
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Grandpa Vanderhof:"Why donít you write a play about ism-mania?"
Penny Sycamore:"Ism-mania?"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Yeah, sure. You know, communism, fascism, voodooism. Everybodyís got an 'ism' these days."
Penny Sycamore:"I thought it was an itch or something."
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Itís just as catching. When things go a little bad now days, you go out and get yourself an 'ism' and youíre in business."
Penny Sycamore:"I've got it, it might help Cynthia to have an 'ism' in the monastery!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"It might at that... only give her an American-ism. Let her know something about Americans. John Paul Jones, Patrick Henry, Samuel Adams, Washington, Jefferson, Monroe, Lincoln, Grant, Lee, Edison and Mark Twain. When things got tough for those boys, they didn't run around looking for 'ism's. Lincoln said, 'With malice towards none, with charity to all'. Now days they say 'think the way I do or I'll bomb the daylights out of you'."
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Mr Poppins:"The die is cast. I'm a lily!"
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Grandpa Vanderhof:"Well, sir, here we are again. We've had quite a time of it lately, but it seems that the worst of it was over. Course, the fireworks all blew up, but we can't very well blame that on you. Anyway, everything's turned out fine, as it usually does. Alice is going to marry Tony, Mr. Kirby, who's turned out to be a very good egg, sold us back our house. He'll probably forget all about big deals for a while. Nobody on our block has to move, and with the right handling, I think we can even thaw out Mrs. Kirby here. We've all got our health, and as far as anything else is concerned, we still leave that up to you. Thank you."
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Anthony P. Kirby:"Say Tony, do you realize there won't be a bullet, gun or cannon made in this country without us?"
Tony Kirby:"Dad, now don't tell me you've forgotten the slingshot market!"
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Tax Man:"Now Mr Vanderhof, that's a very serious thing, not filing an income tax return."
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Now let's suppose I do pay you this money. Mind you, I don't say I'm going to, but just for the sake of argument. What's the government going to do with it?"
Tax Man:"What do you mean?!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Well, what do I get for my money? For instance, if I go into a department store and buy something, why there it is, I can see it. Well what are they going to give me?"
Tax Man:"The government gives you everything, it protects you."
Grandpa Vanderhof:"From what?"
Tax Man:"Well, invasion. How do you think the government's going keep up the army and navy with all those battleships?!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Battleships? Last time we used battleships was in the Spanish-American war, and what did we get out of that, Cuba, and we gave that back. I wouldn't mind paying for something sensible."
Tax Man:"Something sensible? What about Congress and the Supreme Court and the President?! We gotta pay them don't we?!"
Grandpa Vanderhof:"Not with my money! No sir!"
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Tony Kirby:"Now Alice, now listen. There seems to be the impression around here that the Kirby's are ogre's or something. Well if they are, it doesn't make any difference to me. They're just putty in my hands Alice. I've never in my life wanted anything that I couldn't get if I just yelled loud enough. Worked like a charm when I was a baby, and since then I've had so much practice that I'm terrific. Here I'll give you the general idea, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

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