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Joon:"I just keep thinking he can't be dead. He can't be! And then I look at that casket and I'm like, 'that's gotta be Diddle in there because why would they put his picture on another dude's coffin?'. And that's when I lose it."

Joon:"He should've just played dead man. I always say that's what I would do if someone was trying to kill me. Just play dead. I mean they'd be like, 'We're gonna kill you!', and then I'd be like dead! And they'd be like, 'oh, he's dead, let's go kill somebody else'. And then they would leave."

Shawn Spencer:"Alright everybody, take a good look, and keep looking. Drink it in, like a bottle of laudanum."

Donny Leberman: "You guys gotta help me ok, because I messed up. I mean, I really really messed up."
Shawn Spencer: "It's not your fault."
Donny Leberman: "Oh good. How do you know?"
Shawn Spencer: "I don't, but when people say that in movies, things seem to get fixed almost magically."

Shawn Spencer:"If this is some sort of hazing ritual where we're going to end up naked in a river somewhere, I'll need to arrange for a ride home."

Special Agent Lars Ewing:"If I had learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now."

Shawn Spencer:"I'm so sorry if my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you."

Burton 'Gus' Guster: "You know that's right."

The Theme Song from the tv show Psych

Shawn Spencer: "Let me get this straight. You hit the town. Got sloppy drunk. Passed out. Woke up without a virus? Isn't it usually the other way around?"