Jayne Cobb: "Captain, can you stop her from being cheerful please?" Captain Malcolm Reynolds: "I don't believe there's power in the Verse that will stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month." Kaylee: "I love my captain."
Jayne Cobb: "I don't understand why we didn't leave that sob in a pool of his own blood." Captain Malcolm Reynolds: "We'd be dead. Can't get payed if your dead." Jayne Cobb: "Can't get payed if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job. 10 percent of nothing is.... let me do the math here... nothing, and a nothing..."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Now I gotta know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So, I've given Jayne here the job of finding out." Jayne Cobb:"He was non-specific as to how."
Jayne Cobb: "Saint Jayne! It's got a ring to it!" Shepherd Book: "I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed." Jayne Cobb: "I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Don't that count upstairs?" Shepherd Book: "Oh, it will be taken into consideration." Jayne Cobb: "You made that sound kinda ominous."
Zoe Washburne:"Where's River at now?" Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on." Wash Washburne:"That's a little extreme, isn't it?" Jayne Cobb:"Anyone remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?" Wash Washburne:"Wacky fun." Jayne Cobb:"You wanna go little man?!" Wash Washburne:"Only if it's someplace with candlelight."
Jayne Cobb:"What, are you saying she's a witch?" Wash Washburne:"Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast." Jayne Cobb:"She's in Congress?"
Kaylee:"Going on a year now I ain't had nothing twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!" Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Oh God! I can't know that!" Jayne Cobb:"I could stand to hear a little more."
Jayne Cobb:"Captain's right. Can't be thinking on revenge if we're gonna get through this!" Zoe:"Do you really think any of us are gonna get through this?" Jayne Cobb:"Well I might."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: "I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job." Jayne Cobb: "Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar."
XO Mike Slattery: "You ever hear of keelhauling?" Quincy Tophet: "Can't say that I have, no." XO Mike Slattery: "Really? See, back in the mid 1800's, if a sea captain encountered a particularly problematic sailor, he'd have him bound with rope, thrown over the side of the ship, dragged underneath the hull. Poor bastard would bounce and scrape along the keel, barnacles and such. And when he'd come up on the other side, if he wasn't drowned or decapitated, he tended to be a lot more cooperative."
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