Marvin:"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? Because I don't."
Mr. Prosser:"Mister Dent, have you have any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I just let it just roll straight over you?"
Arthur Dent:"How much?"
Mr. Prosser:"None at all."
The Narrator:"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
Arthur Dent:"Well I think I should tell you that I do not date single cell organisms."
Marvin:"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."
The Narrator:"The best drink in existence is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. The effect of which, is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped around a large gold brick."
Trillian:"Can we put your ego aside for a minute? Something important has happened."
Zaphod:"If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now!"
Marvin:"I've been talking to the ship's computer."
Marvin:"It hates me."
The Narrator:"The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on Love states that it is far too complicated to define. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: 'Avoid, if at all possible'."
The Computer:"Guys, I'm delighted to tell you that there are two thermo-nuclear missiles heading right for us. If you don't mind, I'm going to go ahead and take evasive action."
Arthur Dent:"If I asked where we were, would I regret it?"
Ford:"Hang on! We're hitching a ride!"
The Narrator:"The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double backward somersault through a hoop while whistling the star-spangled banner but in fact the message was this: 'So long and thanks for all the fish.'"
The Narrator:"Vogons are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious, and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters."
The Narrator:"What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer."