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Captain Barbossa:"It's not getting to the Land of the Dead that's the problem. It's getting back."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Close haul her! Luff the sails and lay her in irons!"
Captain Barbossa:"Belay that or we'll be a sitting duck!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Belay that belay that!"
Mr Gibbs:"But Captain!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Belay! Belay! Stow! Stow! Shut it!"

Captain Barbossa:"Dearly beloved, we be gathered here today, to nail your gizzard to the mast you poxy cur!"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig."

Elizabeth Swann:"Barbossa! Marry us!"
Captain Barbossa:"I'm a little busy at the moment!"

Captain Barbossa:"Trim that sail!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Trim that sail!"
Captain Barbossa:"Slack windward brace and sheet!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Slack windward brace and sheet!"
Captain Barbossa:"Haul the pennant line!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Haul the pennant line!"
Captain Barbossa:"What are you doing?"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"What are you doing?!"
Captain Barbossa:"No, what are you doing?!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"What are you doing?!"
Captain Barbossa:"No, what are you doing?!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"What are you doing?! Captain gives orders on the ship!"
Captain Barbossa:"The Captain of the ship is giving orders!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"My ship, makes me Captain."
Captain Barbossa:"They be my charts!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Well that makes you chartman!"

Captain Barbossa:"The song has been sung. The time is upon us. We must convene the Brethren Court."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"William, tell me something. Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel, or rather damsel in distress, either one?"
Will Turner:"No."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Well then you wouldn't be here would you? So you can't be here. Q.E.D. You're not really here."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"You add an agreeable sense of the macabre to any delirium."

Elizabeth Swann:"The Brethren will still be looking here to us, to the Black Pearl to lead, and what will they see? Frightened bilge rats aboard a derelict ship? No, no they will see free men and freedom! And what the enemy will see is the flash of our cannons! They will hear the ring of our swords, and they will know what we can do!"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Mr Gibbs, any particular reason why my ship is gone?"
Mr Gibbs:"The ship? We're on the ship. Jack! The ship's gone!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Really?!"

Captain Sao Feng:"Jack Sparrow, you paid me great insult once."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"That doesn't sound like me."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Ladies, will you please shut it!"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"You know, for all that Pirates are clever cogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things."
Mr Gibbs:"Aye."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"I once sailed with a geezer that lost both his arms and part of his eye."
Mr Gibbs:"What did you call him?"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Larry."

Lord Cutler Beckett:"You're mad!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this would probably never work."

Lord Cutler Beckett:"Signal Jones to give no quarter. That should brighten his day."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"My peanut."

Pintel:"Those aren't pieces of eight, they're pieces of junk!"
Mr Gibbs:"Aye, the original plan was to use nine pieces of eight to bind Calypso, but when the first court met, the Brethren were to a one skint broke."
Pintel:"So change the name."
Mr Gibbs:"To what? To 'nine pieces of whatever we happened to have in our pockets at the time'? Oh yes, that sounds very piratey."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Oi! My pistol!"

Sailor:"Do you think he plans it all out, or just makes it up as he goes along?"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Now we're being followed by rocks. Never had that before."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"And that was without even a single drop of rum!"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Summoning the Brethren Court then, is it?"
Captain Barbossa:"It's our only hope lad."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Thats a sad commentary in and of itself."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Listen to me! Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced 'egregious'. By the way, no. I've never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?"

Captain Barbossa:"You've always run away from a fight!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Have not."
Captain Barbossa:"You have so."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Have not."
Captain Barbossa:"You have so!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Have not!"
Captain Barbossa:"You have so and you know it!"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Have not! Slander and calumny! I have only ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions. I submit that here now, that is what we all must do. We must fight, to run away."

Boy:"The King and his men stole the Queen from her bed and bound her in her bones. The seas be ours and by the powers, where we will, we'll roam."

Mr Gibbs:"Take what you can."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Give nothing back."

Captain Jack Sparrow:"'Up is down'. Well that's just maddingly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear."

Captain Sumbhajee:"And so, we shall go to war!"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Granted it tends to list to port and has been on occasion known to frighten young women. But I promise you, you will not be disappointed."
Giselle:"Is that it?"
Scarlett:"The Black Pearl?"
Giselle:"It's not very big."
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish. And gone. Why is it gone?"
Giselle:"Is that it there?"
Captain Jack Sparrow:"Yes there it is! Why is it there? It's much larger up close."

Tia Dalma:"Witty Jack is closer than you think!"

Captain Jack Sparrow:"Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"