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Gandalf:"I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."
Bilbo Baggins:"An adventure? Now I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things that make you late for dinner."

Bilbo Baggins:"Excuse me! That is a doily, not a dish cloth!"
Bofur:"But it's full of holes."
Bilbo Baggins:"It's supposed to look like that. It's crochet."
Bofur:"Oh and a wonderful game it is too. If you've got the balls for it."

Bilbo Baggins:"I know you doubt me and I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books and my armchair and my garden. You see, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back, because you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you, but I will help you take it back if I can."

Thorin:"Out of the frying pan."
Gandalf:"And into the fire."

Bilbo Baggins:"Good morning."
Gandalf:"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not. Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that it is a morning to be good on?"
Bilbo Baggins:"All of them at once, I suppose."

Ori:"I don't like green food."

Elrond:*Speaking Elvish*
Gloin:"What is he saying?! Does he offer us insult?!"
Gandalf:"No Master Gloin. He's offering you food."
Gloin:"Ah well. In that case, lead on."

Thorin:"Where did you go to, if I may ask?"
Gandalf:"To look ahead."
Thorin:"What brought you back?"
Gandalf:"Looking behind."

Saruman:"Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown. He is a foolish fellow."
Gandalf:"Well, he's odd, I'll grant you. He lives a solitary life."
Saruman:"It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms! They've addled his brain and yellowed his teeth!"

Gandalf:"Try a little 'Old Toby'. It will help settle your nerves."

Gandalf:"Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves!"

Dwarves Singing:"Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates

Cut the cloth and tread the fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!
Pound them up with a thumping pole!
And when you've finished, if any are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

Balin:"I wouldn't bother, laddie. Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war."
Bilbo Baggins:"What are you saying, my sword hasn't seen battle?"
Balin:"Not actually sure it is a sword. More of a letter opener, really."

Gollum:"Oh! We like goblinses, batses, and fishes, but we hasn't tried hobbitses before!"

Galadriel:"Mithrandir, why the halfling?"
Gandalf:"I don't know. Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I've found it is the small things. Everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness, and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid, and he gives me courage."